“Always have being kind come before being right” – Big Fish Principle #5
When I introduce this principle in our Big Fish program conference calls, I usually hear some nervous laughter, throat-clearing, and comments like “uh oh” and “oh that’s a tough one!”
It’s true, this is not an easy principle to follow – but it is so important to our success since we all have to work with others at some point! And even though we hear more about this in non-work situations, it is equally important to practice this principle in our businesses.
We have all been in business meetings where participants (me included!) were so focused on each trying to prove that their ideas was RIGHT that they wouldn’t listen to anyone else’s viewpoint or suggestions. Most likely this shut down the communication and turned the meeting into a dead-end argument that accomplished little more than wasting time… certainly not a best practice we women entrepreneurs want to follow!
If everyone had instead focused on being kind rather than being right, the meeting could have been a place for different ideas to be explored, resulting in creative solutions and strategy breakthroughs – bottom line impacts!
It takes courage for women entrepreneurs to focus on being kind first before being right. Although attitudes seem to be changing about the “ways of being” that make successful leaders and businesspeople, being kind can still be viewed as ineffective or a weakness. The irony is that it is actually a GREAT LEADERSHIP STRENGTH we women have!
Being kind naturally opens us to the power of great collaborations because we are more open to listening and empathizing, and are more willing to consider different viewpoints. When we can hold the puzzle like a challenge to be solved rather than a fight to be won, it changes the energy of the entire situation. The more ideas we can get from others, the more informed we are in our decisions, and the greater chance we then have at achieving HUGE SUCCESS.
I believe the most powerful person in the room is the one who can see all perspectives as possibilities rather than threats – the person who acts first to be kind rather than to be right. Which person are you??
(Note: Other Big Fish will be blogging this week about this same topic! Make sure to check the comments below for links to their blog posts!)
If this post has inspired you, dive in to get ongoing inspiration and in-depth practical learning through any of our Big Fish programs (click here for program descriptions, or email me to see which program is best for you). Make 2011 your most successful year yet!
For more about the Big Fish Principles, purchase my book, From Entrepreneur to Big Fish: 7 Principles to Wild Success.
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Lorin, I love your business wisdom. You speak the truth! Kindness does get scoffed at because it is not STRONG and it does not always yield the greatest financial profits. We can all see where this mentality has gotten us! Here is my blog post with an EASY way to CREATE kindness in your business: http://www.creativelyfit.com/?cat=1 Cheers! Whitney
Thanks for this timely post! My answer includes Big Fish concepts on authenticity and openness that I hope will resonate with others too: http://www.rebeccaplants.com/wordpress
It takes courage for women entrepreneurs to focus on being kind first before being right….Is this ever true for investors regarding financial advisors and stock brokers who loose money in our accounts? I think it is always important to be respectful, so I vote for kind over right.
Thanks Lorin, loved the reminder and the inspiration!
http://themomexchangecoaching.blogspot.com/2010/10/being-kind-before-right.html
As always, so well stated today Lorin. Thank you … after months of difficult decisions and dealings with a business issue I feel proud in saying all along I stayed kind, never pushing my ‘being right’ during the challenging communications. It’s a great reminder to us all as we journey through the world of being in business.
Lorin,
I always love seeing your beautiful face pop up in my inbox. I find myself smiling back at you!
Thank you for today’s post. In my work with women business owners, I always talk about the importance of understanding your personal values and how they relate to your business. One of my top 5 values is kindness – so I was very happy to see you promoting the value of this particular brand of quiet, gentle strength. No matter the situation or how high the stakes, I know I have to look at myself in the mirror. For me, kindness is a must for me to feel good about my work and my life. I see it in you, as well, and I’m so glad our paths have crossed.
Lorin,
Wonderful concept…it seems to be all around. The learning in this lesson is every day! Check out my further thoughts at http://howfactor.wordpress.com/
Lorin, thanks for this post!
I love that you’ve used kindness here in the context of business. Something I think we need plenty more of!
My additional thoughts are here on my blog post: http://outwriteliving.com/2010/10/does-kind-belong-in-business/
Thanks for the reminder to always look at things with new eyes.
http://kristenhallettrzasa.blogspot.com/2010/10/what-matters-more-being-kind-or-being.html
Lovin’ all your posts on this topic this week!
@Whitney, I believe that being kind takes more strength and commitment then being ‘right’ and I also believe that it is a leadership skill of the 21st century that women are modeling so brilliantly. You being one Whitney! Thanks for blog post and message about this important topic.
@Rebecca you speak to a fresh lens on this topic when you say “authenticity and openness’ — I love the challenge to be kind yet full open (sometimes that is not always easy for me!
Thanks for the post and the message as well!
@Peg, thank you for the blog post on this important topic.
@Beth, Girl, i’d say this is a journey and bravo to you for staying kind along the sometimes challenges paths. You shine!
@Michele, thanks so much for your kind words. Your point is critical, values matter here. You envelope kindness in your presence both online and in ‘real life’ – a true model for us all! In gratitude my friend that our paths have crossed as well.
@Julia your comment that life, every day, offers us opportunities to practice this…. great perspective! And SO TRUE!
@Starla, thanks for your ‘glue’ on this topic in all ways! Thanks for your blog post and your comments. Who would ever guess we’d be talking kindness and business in 2010… do you think they were talking about this topic 100 years ago?
Thank you all!